You will never "find yourself"

I have heard it a million times.

"Teenagers are just trying to find themselves."
"You just have to let people find themselves."
"Young people are just experimenting to find themselves."

I have always thought that was one of the dumbest things people say as it has no practical meaning, serving only as an excuse for poor behavior.  Thank you to Reid Hoffman, founder of LinkedIn and author of The Start-up of You, for finally talking some sense:

“Contrary to what many bestselling authors and motivational gurus would have you believe, there is not a ‘true self’ deep within that you can uncover via introspection and that will point you in the right direction,” Hoffman writes. “Yes, your aspirations shape what you do. But your aspirations are themselves shaped by your actions and experiences. You remake yourself as you grow and the world changes. Your identity doesn’t get found. It emerges.

You cannot "find yourself."  You will never find a "yourself" somewhere that you don't already know about.  What you can do is... do something.  By doing something you put experience to your ideas and find what is possible and what is not possible right now.  You do not find some "yourself" and a magical path that will allow your "yourself" to blink happiness and success into existance.
Like the quote above says, what you do shapes your aspirations.  If you let your peers or children or whoever choose foolishness in the name of "finding themselves" then you are letting them shape their aspirations with foolishness.  What kind of person can we possibly expect to emerge then, but a fool?  When a person's real choice is to do something, instead of "find themselves," we have a responsibility to try and guide them in a wise manner so that their aspirations are shaped by a solid foundation, not tossing waves.

Related articles

• 8 Job Search Tips From the Co-Founder of LinkedIn (mashable.com)
• 10 Memorable Quotes from the Start-up of YOU (forbes.com)